Stop and think: How many years did you feel trapped being Cared for By your mother? That's why I wanted to offer advice to the woman who sent in this question, who indicated a lack of funds to find help for herself.
Now you feel trapped caring for your mother and your grandmother. I have always felt that ONE person should not have to be burdened with care, although many are.
I, however, live in shame with a dirty little secret – I hate my mother. My hatred is not a laughable rom-com, roll-your-eyes hatred.
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I feel like I can't move on with my life, and that I'll be trapped here forever. As Founder and Director of Circles of Care, Ann Cason provides caregiving, consulting, and training services to individuals and public and private organizations involved in eldercare. Over time I began to see that my guilt at not being able to help in the way that he wanted was just that: guilt. I got some counseling and also attended a support group for awhile.
She is the author of Circles of Care: How to Set Up Quality Home Care for Our Elders. It was especially hard as I was a professional and felt that I should know what to do.
It has been tough, but I've been following your advice, and I haven't contacted him at all since it happened.