The couple meets at or just before the wedding and then they ride off into the night as a couple. That’s mostly because in our universe if you’re getting to know someone from the opposite sex, you’re doing it to determine whether you’re compatible enough to them. It means that the rules that Western culture imposes on a ‘first date’ are flipped on their heads. Meeting the parents It’s very important for Muslims to have their parents involved really early in this process. Once the couple thinks they’re ready to take things further, the family of the groom will visit the family of the bride to ask for her hand in marriage. Tea and coffee and snacks are prepared and all the fine china is brought out.
Neither of these scenarios represent the norm for the typical Western Muslim. We ask super serious questions that prod into the history of the person, their financial status, whether they want to have kids or not and anything else that our parents will interrogate us about when we tell them we’ve found someone. And this interrogation continues for as long as necessary until we’ve asked all the important questions. This is because our parents have conditioned us to feel guilty about not telling them things. The bride freaks out and wonders whether she has warned the groom about all the oddities of her family and whether she has coached him enough about what he should and shouldn’t say. They prepare the gift(s) they have bought for the bride – y’know, flowers, sweets, chocolates, whatever.
Not all young Muslim Americans have serious religious upbringings.
For the most part, we ‘arrange’ ourselves with people that we meet at university, work, social events, online or through our own married friends. I didn’t accidentally use the word ‘interrogate’ there. My friends were amazed at what I knew within two weeks of meeting my husband. While we’re hanging out and getting to know each other, there are really strict rules. It’s to ensure that we’ve got our parents onside so that when things get serious (lol… The idea is to use strong negotiation skills to get our parents to agree before they meet the potential spouse. The groom tells his parents not to be freaks and they head over.
We tend to meet in public only – somewhere public enough that we’re not alone, but not public enough that a random nosy aunt can spot you and call your parents to tell them of your horrible indiscretions. When the families meet, there is the inevitable small talk.
Islam is easily the second-largest religion in the world.
Well over one billion people practice some form of the faith, and a majority of the faithful put religion at the heart of how they live their lives.
As for the non-Muslim girls, talk to them, but don’t ever bring one home.", "As a fragmented diaspora that is racialized, [young Muslims] are both viewed as oppressed but also hyper-sexualized.